Kissing Lessons Read online

  She’d hurt all over the next day. Her entire body felt like it had been through hell.

  That was the last time she’d consumed alcohol, but she recalled the pleasant fuzzy-headed sensation leading up to the moment when she crashed and burned. The feeling of invincibility, of flying and not quite belonging to her own body. It had been euphoric.

  She felt that way now kissing Nolan. Euphoric. Like she was flying.

  Her hands slid up his chest and around his neck while his hands went to her face with a groan she took for approval.

  His warm palms cupped her cheeks, his thumbs dragging in small circles over her skin. He held her face as though touching her was as necessary as breathing.

  Save face-holding for serious intimacy. Not for a casual make-out.

  Her lips stilled. All of her stilled as her own advice from earlier replayed in her head.

  Oh no. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

  Nolan sensed her withdrawal and lifted his mouth from hers.

  His dark eyes flickered over her face just as some distant cries of excitement rose up from somewhere in the house.

  She gave herself a mental shake and backed away, letting his hands drop from her face.

  Feet stomped on the stairs, accompanied by excited voices.

  “Hayden,” he whispered.

  She shook her head. She didn’t know what he wanted to say—what that simple utterance of her name even meant. She didn’t want to know.

  The shouts carrying through the house provided a welcome distraction. “Snow! Snow!”

  She looked over his shoulder to the window beyond his desk and saw what all the commotion was about. Snow flurries.

  She had been in elementary school the last time it snowed. She remembered it because she and her mom had made snow angels in the yard. It was a good day. A good memory. Rare.

  “It’s snowing.” She nodded to the window, stating the somewhat obvious.

  He turned to look and she took it as her cue to whirl around, determined to be gone before he faced forward again.

  She hurried downstairs and joined everyone else outside, shifting her bare feet on the cold sidewalk as she raised her face to the falling snow.

  No one paid her any attention, thankfully. The focus was on the snow.

  The icy flakes felt good on her overheated face.

  Nolan arrived next to her. “Here.” He dropped a pair of shoes beside her feet.

  “Those aren’t mine.”

  “I know. They’re mine. Slip them on before your feet freeze.”

  She crossed her arms tightly against the cold, refusing to accept his shoes.

  He laughed low. “You really are stubborn. They’re just shoes.”

  She locked her jaw, watching as Sanjana rushed into the yard and started trying to scrape snow off the leaves of a bush to form a meager snowball.

  Emmaline laughed at her and shook her head. “There’s not enough snow yet, you fool!”

  Hayden’s feet were starting to actually burn from the cold. She really should put the shoes on, but she couldn’t do it.

  She turned to go back inside the house.

  She should go home. If it wasn’t so late, it wouldn’t even be a question. However, in her mind, going home would be admitting that Nolan got under her skin. And what would Emmaline think if she bailed on her? She’d agreed to tutor her.

  Hayden moved to the living room window and watched everyone through the open shutters.

  Well, not everyone. Beau stepped up beside her, watching the others alongside her.

  Sanjana jumped on Emmaline’s back and rode her like a horse. The two girls galloped through the falling snow, laughing and shouting loudly, indifferent to the neighbors they were probably waking. Even Lia and Monica were getting into it.

  “How long until someone calls the cops?” Hayden asked Beau.

  He chuckled. “It won’t happen. Everyone on this street loves the Martins. They have barbecues and block parties. Whenever a kid falls and scrapes a knee, they run them over here so that Mrs. Martin can patch them up.”

  “For real? Block parties?” She shook her head with a snort. “Definitely isn’t like our neighborhood, is it?”

  “No, it’s not,” he agreed.

  A few more moments passed as they observed the antics of Emmaline and her friends in silence. Then Beau asked, “What are you doing here, Hayden? Is it really the money?”

  “You say that with such skepticism. Like money is so not important. But we come from the same world, Beau.” A world where lack of money only added to the misery. She didn’t need to explain such things to him, but she did it anyway. Maybe his closeness with the Martins had blinded him. “You know it matters.”

  “This is causing a lot of trouble. Is it worth it?”

  She resisted asking, Trouble for who?

  She stared through the shutters at Emmaline. She was a nice girl, and she thought Hayden could help her. She wanted some pointers from Hayden so that she could come out of her shell. That wasn’t asking a lot. Wasn’t she entitled to that? Couldn’t Emmaline make that simple decision regarding her own life?

  Her gaze drifted to Nolan Martin.

  The boy could kiss—and that had absolutely nothing to do with what she was doing here. She had to keep telling herself that. He had a girlfriend. She had to keep telling herself that, too. She’d never fooled around with someone else’s boyfriend before. At least not knowingly. She wasn’t looking for more drama in her life. She didn’t love that she had done it . . . didn’t love that while she was kissing him, his lips belonged to someone else.

  “There won’t be any trouble,” she said as Nolan turned his head to look at the house, directly at the window. Her breath caught even as she told herself it was too dark for him to see her standing there.

  Yet she felt certain that he did know she was right there on the other side of the glass—that he could see her.

  And she felt certain he knew she was staring back at him.

  She turned and took herself to Emmaline’s room and waited for them to join her.

  She would be good. She would focus on why she was here in the first place. Under no circumstances would she think about what she just did with Nolan. It would not affect her. Instead, she would play the part of a “normal” girl spending the night at a slumber party—as though she did these things all the time and didn’t just watch them on TV.

  They piled back into the room, still excited over the snow, and Hayden faked it. She pretended to be like the rest of them, staying up and answering their hypothetical questions and going to bed later than she ever would. With school and her job, she valued her sleep, but tonight she acted as carefree as these girls and stayed up way too late.

  She woke with a foot in her face—another reason why sleepovers weren’t her thing. Why be crammed into a double bed when she could have a bed to herself? She pushed the offending foot away with a grunt, thankful at least that it didn’t stink.

  Hayden lifted her head and scanned the room, locating Emmaline on the floor, curled under a SpongeBob blanket. Sanjana and Monica were nowhere in sight.

  Lia’s foot drifted back into her face and she shoved at it. “Gah! Enough with the foot already.”

  Emmaline stirred on the floor. Lifting her head, she rubbed at her eyes and looked around. She took in Hayden and Lia on the bed. “Sanjana?” she called out, twisting her head toward her bathroom door. “Monica?”

  “They left,” Lia muttered. “Parents picked them up hours ago.”

  Hayden didn’t know exactly what time they all fell asleep. It had been well after three in the morning. They’d watched a movie and gone over a few more kissing techniques. It was why she was here, after all. That hadn’t changed.

  Groaning, Hayden pushed herself up. “I have to get to work.”

  “Aw, do you have to? I thought we could run to get some doughnuts.” Emmaline propped herself up on her elbows. “My treat.”

  Of course, it had to be her trea
t. Spending money on doughnuts wasn’t an option for Hayden.

  Hayden stood up and started folding her bedding. “It’s been . . . fun, but I really need to go.” She didn’t know if fun was the word, and she knew she didn’t sound convincing.

  “Can we hang out tomorrow?” Emmaline asked hopefully.

  Hayden hated to crush her, but this wasn’t good for her. Money withstanding, she felt the need to put distance between herself and the Martin family. “I’m pretty busy.”

  “What about my lessons? We’ve only just started. I’ve got a lot left to learn.”

  “I don’t know, Emmaline,” Hayden hedged. Now that Nolan knew about it, she didn’t feel right coaching his sister. “This is . . .”

  “Is it because of last night? My brother?” She blew out a quick breath. “Don’t let him intimidate you.”

  Hayden met her gaze directly. “He doesn’t.” Yes, he made her feel things, but he didn’t intimidate her.

  “Wow. It’s like a winter wonderland out there,” Lia announced from where she stood peering out of the blinds.

  Right then Hayden’s phone dinged. She frowned as she read the text from her manager.

  “What is it?”

  “Work. They’re closed for the day because of the snow.”

  “Yep,” Lia declared, still looking out the window. “Nothing will shut down a Texas town quicker than snow or a hurricane.”

  “So, you don’t have to go to work now,” Emmaline said brightly. “You can stay.”

  Now that her excuse was gone, Hayden took her time answering. “I guess.” It was that or come clean about not wanting to do the lessons anymore—and why. Plus, she figured the roads needed to melt a little before she drove all the way home in her less-than-reliable wheels.

  “C’mon. I bet there’s a doughnut shop open.” Emmaline flung back her blanket and hurried to get dressed.

  “Hopefully Sunrise Doughnuts—I’ll call ahead and make sure.” Lia started scrolling through her phone.

  Hayden drifted to the window to look out at the world as Emmaline changed inside her closet like a sixth grader uncomfortable stripping off her clothes in front of other girls. Hayden had no such modesty, fumbling for her clothes in her backpack and getting dressed in the middle of the room. Grabbing her makeup bag, she moved into the bathroom and took a moment to stare at her reflection before finally deciding to pile her dark hair atop her head and secure it with sticks. She applied her makeup: eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara. She swiped a deep red over her lips and then nodded at her reflection, feeling better. Ready to face the world.

  “Doughnut shop is open,” Lia announced in triumph, hanging up her phone as Emmaline emerged in a T-shirt and leggings.

  They left her bedroom and bumped into Mrs. Martin coming up the stairs with a basket of laundry. “There’s our sleepyheads.” She looked them over with a slight frown, clearly observing they were all dressed to go out. “Where are you all going?”

  “Hayden is taking us to get doughnuts. You want one, Mom? Or two?”

  Mom’s frown deepened. “The roads are pretty nasty out there, Emmaline. I’m not sure I want you to leave the house today.”

  “Mom,” she said.

  Emmaline’s mother turned her attention to Hayden. “Do you have tire chains, Hayden?”

  Tire chains? They lived in Texas. It hadn’t snowed here in years, and when it did, it hardly required chains.

  “Mom.” Emmaline dragged out the single syllable.

  “No, ma’am,” Hayden replied, trying to act normal in the face of parental interrogation.

  “I’ll drive them, Mom. My truck has good tires.”

  They all swung around, looking down at Nolan standing at the base of the stairs, one of his hands gripping the balustrade.

  “Great.” Emmaline looked to her mother, evidently willing to forget she was mad at her brother in this moment. “Okay, Mom?”

  Mrs. Martin bit her lip. Her dark eyes, so like Nolan’s, flitted back and forth between Emmaline and her brother, considering them both. She shifted her basket to her hip so she could hold it with one hand. With her free hand, she pointed a finger at Nolan. “Precious cargo, Nolan. Yourself included. You got me?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He nodded.

  They all grabbed their coats near the door and traipsed out of the house together.

  Hayden carefully trained her gaze to steer clear of Nolan, wondering at this awkwardness. When was the last time she felt this uncomfortable around a guy? Or anyone? She didn’t like it. She didn’t want it.

  “Where’s Beau?” Emmaline asked as they rounded to the front of the house and walked down the icy driveway.

  They all picked their steps carefully. Unlike Nolan. He strode purposefully ahead, his long legs eating up the distance to his truck with no fear of slipping, reminding Hayden that this guy was a superior athlete.

  “Went home,” he replied.

  Emmaline nodded and slid into the back seat. Lia joined her, leaving the front seat for Hayden. Great.

  “You two should get to know each other. I bet you have more in common than you think,” Emmaline chirped from the back seat.

  Earth. Open. Swallow.

  Heat flushed through Hayden. She knew what Emmaline was trying to do. She was hoping Nolan would decide Hayden wasn’t a terrible influence. It wouldn’t work, of course. They’d already had a night together where they got to know each other better. Hayden had stupidly thought they could be friends then. She’d been wrong.

  Nolan didn’t say anything.

  Hayden sat rigidly, looking straight ahead, glad that she’d applied her makeup. She had that armor at least.

  She felt Nolan turn to look at her when they stopped at a red light.

  She held her breath, willing him to look away.

  He was probably wondering what she was doing in his front seat and how to get rid of her. The light turned green and the stare ended.

  The doughnut shop was only a few miles from the house, and, true to his word, Nolan drove carefully. The parking lot was packed though, and they had to park on the street. The Tasty Freeze might be closed, but plenty of people were comfortable driving on the nasty roads, venturing out to the few businesses bold enough to open their doors. Hayden fell in beside Emmaline as they walked, leaving Nolan to walk ahead of them.

  “Man,” Lia whispered with a giggle. “Your brother’s ass in those jeans—”

  “Ew. Just stop before I throw up, okay?”

  Lia laughed.

  Emmaline gave her friend a disgusted a look. “I’d expect that from Sanjana, but you’re usually better behaved than that.”

  Lia grinned and shrugged. “Must be Hayden’s lessons. They’re helping me express myself.”

  Hayden dropped her eyes to Nolan’s backside, and that annoyed her. The whole conversation annoyed her. Lia annoyed her. She didn’t like her talking about Nolan in a weirdly possessive way, and that was messed up. Get it together, Hayden.

  “Oh, look, Nolan,” Lia called out and pointed to the striped Fiat in the parking lot. “Even Priscilla is here.”

  “Yeah,” Nolan commented, his voice bland. He must have already noticed. Of course he had. They were a couple. They probably had a built-in radar for each other.

  They hurried in from the cold and got in line at the counter, except for Nolan, who left them to join Priscilla’s table.

  “Your mom didn’t say what she wanted,” Lia said as she peered around the bodies at the doughnuts on the display in the glass case.

  “I’ll just pick out a variety for her.” Emmaline turned to Hayden. “What kind do you want?”

  Hayden wasn’t looking at the doughnuts. She was looking to where Nolan had squeezed into the booth with Priscilla and her friends. God. She was so transparent. She needed to stop this. She didn’t obsess over guys.

  Just at that moment, Priscilla looked up at her and their eyes met—her expression clearly disapproving.

  “Ugh. Don’t stare at her,�
� Emmaline advised.

  Hayden faced forward and said evenly, “She doesn’t like me.” Her mouth twisted wryly. “Don’t get me wrong. I could care less.”

  Emmaline chuckled. “Obviously. Why should you? You’re way cooler than she is.”

  The words pleased Hayden and she smiled genuinely at Emmaline. “Thanks.”

  As they inched up in line closer to the counter, Hayden couldn’t help sliding another look behind her to the booth where Nolan sat with Priscilla. She meant what she said. She didn’t care what Priscilla thought about her. However, she was starting to care what Nolan thought.

  They got their doughnuts, delighting over the fact that they were still warm, and found a booth just as a family of four vacated it. Unfortunately, the booth sat diagonal to Nolan’s booth, so they could watch each other as they ate. Hayden and Emmaline sat side by side with a direct view of Nolan and Priscilla. Great.

  Nolan wasn’t looking at them, but Priscilla was. She daintily popped a doughnut hole in her mouth and turned her head to say something to Nolan.

  He lifted his gaze to observe them, his eyes settling on Hayden. Nolan gave a swift shake of his head at whatever she asked him.

  “Think they’re going to cancel school tomorrow?” Lia asked, oblivious to the stares from the other table.

  “The snow isn’t melting,” Emmaline remarked, staring out the window.

  “If it’s still like this tomorrow, we won’t have school,” Hayden offered.

  “That’s not a bad thing. I could use more time to study for my physics test.”

  Around ten minutes passed and Nolan left Priscilla and her friends to head over to their table. “You guys ready?”

  “Sure.” Emmaline wiped off her sticky fingers and stood up.

  Nolan held the door open for them.

  As they all walked over the mixture of ice, snow, and mud, Emmaline announced to her brother, “Look. This has to be said. I need you to cut me some slack. I like Hayden. She’s my friend, and I’m going to hang out with her. Not that I need your permission, but I want you to be cool with it.”

  Heat stung her cheeks. Did Emmaline really have to start this conversation in front of Hayden? Couldn’t she do it later when Hayden wasn’t around to witness it? If they were actual friends, she would realize how much she was embarrassing Hayden. It was a reminder. Hayden had no one. No friends who understood her.